Sunday, May 8, 2011

Thoughts on Mother's Day

My mom is friggin' awesome.  That is a fact.  She's sweet, compassionate, funny as heck, and adorable when snarky.  She's beautiful, strong, and independent.  My mom kicks butt.  Period.

My mom at my age
I was NOT a fan of high school.  I liked it for the first two years, and then was pretty much done with the whole thing.  I had similar experiences with middle school and college.  I like it for the first two years, and then I start getting all itchy-feet and bored.  One of the things that annoyed me the most about high school was the annoying videos.  I HATED it when teachers made us watch videos, especially if it was a movie I'd already seen, or a movie of the book we just read.  It seemed like a waste of time.  So, on those days, I'd call my mom and let her know we're watching a video, and she'd call me out of that class.  And I'd either go home or to Starbucks and study.  I occasionally skipped class as well, but it was awesome to have a mom who realized that I could make a decision about whether or not it was worth sitting in class or studying on my own.  I'm sure a lot of people think that's dumb but I was really thankful for it.

What can I say, we've always been stylish
I went to college at a university only one hour and fifteen minutes away from my folks, which was awesome.  When my folks drove me down to school freshman year, my mom pretended that she wasn't leaving me at school and was in denial until she actually had to go home... and then we both bawled like babies.

Mom and I a week before I left for Wyoming for the summer of 2006
When I got engaged, my mom took me dress shopping.  I had no idea what kind of dress I was looking for; we tried on dress after dress, looking for the perfect one.  I finally decided to try on a really plain dress that my dad and I had noticed online; when I tried it on, my mom though it was pretty but slightly boring.  Then she found a sash... and it was perfect.  And we cried. 

Picking out my wedding dress

As the wedding grew closer and closer, I realized more and more that I was THISCLOSE to moving out of my parents' house.  And it was incredibly bittersweet.  After the wedding and the honeymoon, as we got ready to move to California, I grew increasingly sad and was in denial about leaving.  One evening, Bryan saw my mom sitting in the living room, and said "You need to go be with your mom.  We leave in two days."  I'm not sure I ever cried as much as I did then, sitting in my mom's lap, feeling like a child who wasn't ready to grow up.

Mom and I in San Juan on a cruise in 2009
It's been almost four years since I left home for good.  And I still miss my mom and dad like crazy, but at least it's easier than when we first moved.  I talk to my mom two or three times a week, and I'm so thankful for our relationship.  She truly is my best friend (along with my husband). I remember so many days sitting on the kitchen counter after school, catching up with my mom.  I am excited for the day that we have kids and I can have a relationship with them like the one I have with my mom.  I think one of the biggest reasons I'm nervous to get pregnant is that I'm not sure I'm unselfish enough to be the kind of mom that my mom was to me.  That kind of love takes a LOT of time, effort, and energy.  I hope to be that kind of mom one day.

Mom and Dad in Humboldt County, California