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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm Lame for Posting About a Blender

So says my friend Kati, so here I go at actually posting something.  I've SUCKED at posting recently.  I'm blaming it on winter and my lack of motivation.

Oh and my laptop which was infected by some crappy Trojan viruses.  I think I got them all.  They really sucked though and made it hard to use my lappy for the last week or so.  Lame.

So lately I've just been feeling fat and icky (as opposed to fat and sassy, which is a little bit better). I've been feeling gross and ewwy and none of my clothes fit well and I feel just BLECH, and it's been affecting my general well being.  Add that to the fact that I've been working out 5 days a week for the last three weeks and I GAINED TWO POUNDS which seems a bit BASS ACKWARDS!  (That's me making my language appropriate... Mom, don't yell at me).

So I finally admitted that I wasn't going all that great at the weight loss thing.  Sure, I probably should have tried the exercise thing for another few weeks, but I like instant gratification.  So I started doing the Couch to 5k program again, and I started taking Alli again.

please don't make me poop my pants...


Yes, this is me admitting that I use a weight loss supplement.  My family and some friends already know, but now I am admitting it.  Don't make fun of fatty.  It's FDA approved, hombres.

So I have to watch my fat intake or I'll poop my pants.  I've used Alli before and it works well, but I've never been dedicated enough to use it for more than a few days, because I HATE eating lowfat.  There are some delicious foods that have GOOD fats, like avocados (just bought three... dang it!), nuts, peanut butter... yummmmmmmmmm.  But I'm going to have to say no to those for the time being, at least in larger quantities.  I'm only going to do Alli for a week, two tops.  I'm hoping it jump-starts my body into realizing that me exercising a lot means DO SOMETHING STOP GAINING WEIGHT UGH.

So I'm just been really down in the dumps about it lately, as well as the possibility that we may be forced to leave this apartment this spring because some princess (okay he's a prince, whatever) wants to buy it.  Bryan and I went shopping at Ross the other day and I told him I need pants because all of mine feel tight, and he said "but should you really buy pants if you are exercising this much?  You won't be the same size long" to which I thought "yeah, hopefully not...."  Anyways it's lame, and the other night I got really angry at Bryan for random things (I admitted that half of it was most likely hormonal) and he mentioned that I wasn't really myself lately and that he knows I've been frustrated with my weight... and I BROKE. DOWN.  It was nasty and messy and I snotted a LOT.  He got upset that I was so fixated on it, but understands.  I actually watched "How to Look Good Naked" on Lifetime because it's supposed to be about women embracing their bodies.

Carson tells ladies that their fluffy parts look bea-u-tiful and stuff.


It worked a bit, I guess?  I dunno.

So I talked to Bry the other night and then my mom the next night and both sort of told me that different things work well for different people.  Bryan can run and lose weight immediately, me not so much.  When I did C25K the first time, I lost maybe two pounds, but I was able to run, which I enjoyed.  I'm hoping that by using the C25K program again, I'll be able to run a 5K by April.  I started the program on Week 4, since I can already run a bit, and I'm doing one week on the treadmill at 4.2 mph and then the next week I'm doing the same runs at 4.7 - 5 mph.  I'm hoping this will up my speed.  I'm using Alli for a week (or two, like I said) and then I'm think I'm going to transition to a lower-carb diet.  We'll see.  I know that my folks both do best when they're eating less carbs, so I'm thinking it may work for me.  I hate the idea of it, however, because I love fruits and beans and a lot of stuff I like that's healthy has a lot of carbs.  I suppose I could try it for a couple weeks, though.

All in all, my goal is to lose 20 pounds by my birthday (next October).  I'm really really really hoping I can do it this time.  I've talked about losing weight for years, meanwhile, I kept gaining.  I'm hoping that incorporating running into my life will help me stay motivated to run; I love running outside in the warmer months, so it would be awesome if I could regularly run 3 miles without stopping.  Bryan and I are going to do a farm share this summer, so we'll be eating healthy.

So yeah, that's my new thing that I'm trying not to obsess over.  In better news, my anxiety has been really controlled and awesome, and my hypochondria has been almost non-existent.  Those are two really, really good things.

Kati... sorry this post isn't about blenders, I know how much you LOVE THEM.



EDIT:  Fantabulous reader Carla pointed out that my links to C25K just link back to my blog... which is true.  They link back to the C25K posts I wrote in 2010.  You see, I started C25K LAST January, completed it, and pretty much stopped running.  Also, it was a harder workout to run at 6,600 feet about sea level instead of AT sea level like I did in California.  So I'm trying again.  To read about the program, you can check out the C25K website or read my summary.  I HIGHLY recommend this program if you 1. don't run at all and 2. want to learn how to run and 3. want to learn how to love running.  Seriously, the first week it was REALLY REALLY REALLY hard for me to run for 60 seconds straight.  Seriously, very difficult.  My knee had been injured in college and I never fully got back into exercising correctly.  Also, my endurance sucked.  At the end of the program (they say 9 weeks but I wasn't super religious about the whole thing and it was more like 15 weeks for me, I think) I ran exactly one 5K before pretty much wimping out and only running a mile, tops.  But I could run a mile!!!  For the first time in my LIFE. Seriously good program, and it's free!  I used Robert Ullrey's podcasts to keep pace and to tell me when to walk and when to run.