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Monday, April 12, 2010

You can't always get what you want...

Are you a people pleaser?  I am, in a lot of ways.

My husband and I are flying to Chicago on Wednesday to spend two weeks in the midwest.  We have a lot of people to see in a short time, like usual.  We're going to see my folks, my friends Kathy and Monica, my sister-in-law Amanda and her two kiddos, and hopefully my brother and sister-in-law.  All in two weeks.  Did I mention that Amanda lives in Michigan and my brother and his wife live in Wisconsin?  There's a lot of possibility for travel this vacation.

I've been carefully planning out our schedules, consulting with all of the above to insure that we'd see everyone for a fair amount of time.  However, some things have been switched around, and it's possibly we may see some people less than we'd hoped, and others possibly not at all.  And no one seems pleased about it.  As I am the one in the marriage that's in charge of all the planning and the details, I feel like as ass for not making everyone happy.

I bought the plane tickets, I figured out times and days, I looked at bus schedules and train schedules and work schedules.  And after all this planning, there are a few changes and people end up disappointed.  And I end up in tears, because I'm already hating that fact that people (including my husband) will be less than pleased.  And less understanding than I want them to be.

I really do like making plans and being in charge, but this sucks.  I hate disappointing people.  I want to see my parents, but they're working while we're in town, and they are worried we won't have enough time with just them.  I want to see my friends but at the moment that means coming into town on a Wednesday and being out of the house on Thursday and Friday night when they get off of work.  Bryan will be in Michigan on Saturday night and all of Sunday and part of Monday, and then I join him in Michigan for the later part of Monday through Friday.  Like I said, we want to see my brother and my sister-in-law, but they work too.  And we want to go to the church I grew up in on Sunday and spend time with my folks on Monday, which is their day off.  And then we fly out on Wednesday.

Two weeks.  Two weeks sounds like a nice long vacation doesn't it?  Like you'd be able to relax and see everyone and have a good time?  I'm already crying and anxious about the limited time we have and the possibility that people may get hurt feelings.

Are you a people pleaser?  Do you over-empathize and get anxious about making people happy?

The vacation has yet to start and I'm already worried people will end up disappointed.  This sucks.