Monday, October 11, 2010

Why I Make a Terrible Homemaker

So I'm still unemployed.  Technically it's only been 11 days, but I still feel like I have a sticker on my forehead that says "UNEMPLOYED."  I'm waiting to hear back from the hospital, where I'm pretty sure they loved me, because they said SUPER awkward stuff in front of me... I think they'd only say that if they planned on working with me.  I think??

When Bryan and I first got married, I was the "breadwinner" who worked about 50 hours a week or so between my two jobs.  We would talk about the time when he had graduated college and would be working full time, and we both brought up the possibility of me working part time, maybe 25-30 hours a week.  We figured that way, the house would have a better chance of NOT looking like a war zone all the time (neither of us are extremely tidy people by a LONG shot).  Then we moved to Jackson Hole where studio apartments are almost $800 a month.  And we decided we wanted to get serious about paying off student loans.

So much for part time work.

In these past 11 days of unemployment, I've realized something about myself:  I probably shouldn't be home all that much (working part time OR unemployed) until we had kids.  Why? 

Because I'm a HUGE SLACKER.

I'm not like my sister Amanda, who has two kiddos and still manages to keep the house incredibly tidy.  No.  I really AM the type of person who wants to sit around the house watching Netflix and eating bon bons (or in my case, biscotti).  I bake, but I hate cleaning up.  I really, really do.  My laundry has been neatly folded in my laundry basket, waiting to be put away, for a WEEK now.  I have no motivation whatever, it's ridiculous.

I think the reason I've been so lazy is that I keep thinking of this time of unemployment as sort of a spring/summer break for me.  Not the sort of spring/summer break I had when I was in college, because I was working then.  Nooo, the sort of spring/summer break that I had before I was 16 and started working.  The kind where I could be increeeedibly lazy, and it was okay.  I was on vacation.

But I'm not actually on vacation.  I'm just super lazy.  And the house is a mess.  And it's 2:15 in the afternoon and I haven't done much at all today besides do a bit of grocery shopping, buy some more yarn and check the mail.  And watch three episodes of Parks & Recreation and eat chocolate chips out of the bag.

This is not a good thing.

I better get a call soon.  I need something to get my butt in gear.  Remember that post like a week and a half ago where I said I was going to work out during my time off?  HA!  NO!!!  I have not.  I'm just as fluffy as ever, possibly worse after all that biscotti and chocolate chips. 

Hopefully when we have kids and I'm home (if we decided to go the SAHM route) I'll be FORCED to do stuff because I'll have a kid, and I'll worry about said kid eating some of the random crap we have out at all times.  "No, sweetie, don't put Mommy's SD card reader in your mouth.  Nope, not those scissors either.  No, not that yarn or the lotion of the windshield wipes either.  No.  Not that either...."

For right now?  I make a terrible homemaker.


  1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    This post is hilarious to me. I can just picture it.

    If only I were in town to actually whip your butt up and down the mountains. :)

  2. Oh the best laid plans of mice and men.... We all have such good intentions and aspirations! Then reality comes along and says wouldn't you rather eat chocolate chips for that endorphin rush instead of jogging...I know I would! Pass me the bag... -Mom